Jrue Holiday a story

BamSandwich :mia-2: Heat2:07 am Wed Jul 21 EDT Removed

I had this idea just before game 3 but never had a good opportunity to post it so Im just gonna do it now anyway. It was a clear summer night in Milwaukee. The Bucks had just beat the Atlanta Hawks in six games and Jrue Holiday lies asleep in his house when a wave of cold air rushed over him. Startled, he jumped up and saw five shimmering images at the foot of his bed. Holiday walked toward the light when and was starting to make out faint humanlike figures through his squinted eye when he heard a voice. "Jrue," the light boomed "We are the basketball gods. We have come here to amend a grave evil we inflicted on the basketball world." Jrue stammered as he tried to process what he was seeing. "Wha... wh... what are you guys talking about?" He finally asked, his voice whimpering. "Whats going on?" "In 1975 we allowed Kareem Abdul-Jabaar to join the Los Angeles Lakers. As Kareem was connected to the city by his UCLA days, we did not heed basketball prophets who warned of punk bitches going there for the warm weather, bad bitches, and market," said one of the gods. "We did not realize until much later the precedent we had set and the consequences of what we had done." Holiday looked at the gods before him no less confused than when he first woke up. "What does this have to do with me?" he asked. "Jrue, when we realized the damage we had caused we decided something must be done to repair the damage we had done and repay those that suffered the most," another of the gods said. "We tried to piss off the Lakers and disrupt the flow of stars there by moving the Clippers to LA. That clearly didnt work. So we decided that to restore balance to the league, we would allow one Milwaukee Buck to channel the talent and skill of any past NBA champion on the teams first trip back to the Finals." The gods eyes flared a bright orange and black as they began to speak in unison. "Jrue, you are that player." The room fell silent as Jrue contemplated what they had said. "Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird. The choice is..." the gods paused as they faintly heard Jrue say something. "Speak up, nephew," the gods said. Jrue took a deep breath. He grabbed a column on his bed frame and squeezed tightly as his eyes hardened with a steely resolve. He stared directly at the gods and with the confidence of a high school freshman who watched one Ben Shapiro video he opened his mouth. "Mario Chalmers." The weight of the name brought the world to a stop. "Wait, what. Are you..." the gods began to say before again they were interrupted by Holiday. "Mario motherfucking Chalmers," he repeated, somehow more assured than he was before. "I want to play like Mario Chalmers." The gods looked at each other, quizzically at first, but they quickly realized what must be done. "So it shall be," the gods said. "For the remainder of the playoffs, we shall grant you the powers of Mario Chalmers. Best of luck to you, and may the basketball world someday recover from our mistakes." TL;DR: I wanted to make a shitpost about Jrue Holiday being bad but then the Bucks won four in row so I made it anyway.